The Teacher's Guide: Must Haves

I've been through four schools in my short life and a lot of teachers. So, prospective teachers out there, here is a list of must haves (you don't have to take this seriously).

1. A very, very, very good memory for all the children's names that are going to pass through your class and come back on visits later, so you won't be stuttering, "Ummmm.... ummmm.... you there, pass out the papers."
2. The eyesight of an eagle to see who's passing notes at the back.
3. (you're going to need this in bagfuls) Patience. Patience. Patience. There are a lot of things you need this for, amongst them children coming back to ask the same question a hundred times over, the class clown making the same joke a thousand times over, and other situations like these.
4. A very loud voice to scream over the noise (it's amazing how much twenty children can make) "Would you please just SHUT UP!"
5. A death glare, that can be personalized to fit you. Order from God, Postbox 1, Heaven, before you are born. (Amen.)
6. The silence of a... well..... ummm, well, figure out yourself. This is for sneaking up on the calss so you can catch them red handed in the middle of mischief.
7. And above all, a calm appearance, and the looks of an angel- remember, A+'s for all!